Fact # 54: the Yo-Yo is not a weopon

By Jacob Calle

Does the name Miguel Correa sound familiar? Probably not. Miguel Correa is one of the greatest
Yo-Yoers in America with 3 titles to his name. The things he does with a yo-yo are beyond the tricks you do with your finger in bed. The dude is un effing real! Right now Miguel is on the Hellsapoppin Side Show Revue. They are now touring on a converted prison bus traveling the US of A. Oh and by the way Miguel is touring with a dude tattooed like a lizard. A deformed man who is in the shape of a penguin, and a woman named Fire Fly. Come see the show December 25th at Avant Garden.

Jacob: How long have you been yo-yoing and when was the last time you went on a date.

Miguel: Already went there, huh. Ok, so I'm tour right now with Hellzapoppin Side Show. I'm currently on the tour bus typing away in Austin. We have a few days off before our Austin show and I was SUPPOSED to hang out with a girl while down here but nooooo. She decided to go home after exams were done. FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU. Oh yeah, yoyoing for 11 years.

J: What's the hardest yo-yo trick. The White Buddha, Yuuki Slack, or the And What?


M: Hm, interesting picks, friends of mine made up all those tricks you just mentioned. The hardest yoyo trick in the world is the one you can't do yet. Apply that to life.


J: Ya know I have no idea what I am talking about and I just googled these trick names
right?


M: Yeah, I figured. Those tricks are almost a decade old though. Where did the google send you anyway?

J: I did tell you before that I am a enthusiast right? And when I mean enthusiast I mean that I once yo-yo'd for 7 consecutive straight hours with my brothers. What's the longest yo-yo session you've ever had?

M: I don't really know what my longest session was. I pretty much have a yoyo on me all the time and don't even have to really be looking at it while playing. So maybe I'm watching the season finale of Dexter and yoyoing at the same time. Does this count as part of a session? If i'm practicing for a competition I will try to practice a few hours a day of just my routine over and over again.


J: In my session I rubbed the skin off my finger and learned how to put my yo-yo in a sleep inside a paper bag to walk the dog to a cradle. Then for measure if it still had some sleepage I would kiss my Yo-Yo. What kind of tricks did you learn?


M: I, don't have the slightest idea what you are talking about right now.


J: There are the world's fattest twins, the world's greatest balancing shit on your nose, the world's greatest world's greatest. How do you feel at being the world's greatest at a cylinder
block that you wrap string around?


M: In the grand scheme of things, what I do is just as insignificant as everything else. The difference being, people want to talk to me when they hear about the cylinder block and string.


J: So how does one become the world's greatest Yo-yo man?

M: I don't know if I'm the worlds greatest, certainly the nation's greatest.

J: Speaking of Yo-Yo man...Smothers Brothers...Who's better? You or them?

M: I certainly know more tricks, but they we're far better performers. I'm working on stepping up my game on that. I'll be on stage quite a bit in the next few months with the Hellzapoppin side show, so I will get plenty of time to practice.


J: What about you or them put together to form this mega duo in one?

M: ...............


J: Has being the nation's greatest yo-yo dude ever gotten you laid. Seriously, what's the skinny?


M: If you are a boring person, no yoyo in the world is going to get you laid. It is kind of a wing man if used correctly. I don't just walk up to a girl and ask if she wants to see my yoyo tricks. 1. That's creepy as fuck. and 2. Yoyos are only a part of my personality 3. I am really fucking charming.


J: Some people might find it nerdy to be so damn good at yo-yos but once you put the title
nation's greatest they completely respect you. Am I yes?


M: Call it nerdy. I don't care. Hell, I think its nerdy and I've been doing it for 11 years. You do get more respect when you have 3 national titles sure, but I do that for me. The only haters I've ever encountered were people with nothing better going for them.


J: 500BC the yo-yo was used as a weopon (I just googled that too). Do you ever take your skill and use it as a weopon?


M: The yoyo was never used as a weapon, that story was made up to sell yoyos in the 50s or something. I have never used a yoyo as a weapon; I am not a ninja.


J: Have you ever invented tricks? If so what did you call it?


M: Yes, basically anything I do in competition I created. That might be the part where the general public may not initially get. After I learned the most basic tricks all I wanted to do is create new moves. Most of my early practice was just developing the skill sets so that I can make my own tricks later. I don't really name my tricks anymore.


J: What's up with these yo-yo names? They make nothing of what the yo-yo is doing. plus they are kinda silly. Why can't they the tricks have cool names like they do in skateboarding such as darkslides, madonnas, and rock and rolls.


M: I will say that some tricks have been named after drugs, others are just an identifier because the trick had no proper name. I think naming a yoyo trick rock and roll is lamer though.


J: So does skateboarding. We've got a trick called an Acid. Okay, so as a zoologist I've always wanted to name my newly discovered frog after my girlfriend. If I never find that undiscovered frog will you name your latest trick after my girl?


M: Fuck it, sure why not.


J: Do you find it ironic when someone who does not know who you are and greets you with the word "Yo".


M: People still say "Yo"?

J: Yeah, and so does Bart Simpson. Does the world's greatest yo-yo man have any last words? If so what is it?

M: I love what I do.



Okay, just imagine if this dude used used a glow-in-the-dark yo-yo and did this at a rave. I doubt that girl would be going home after her exams.