Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Review

By Tyler Barber



In his comfortable apartment an overweight man sips coffee in-between respawns playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare multiplayer. Perking up, fatty notices the appearance of a man in a business suit.

"Excuse me sir, but we've secretly replaced your testosterone-inflated shooter with a deep RPG experience."

Lowering his coffee mug, the well-gerthed gamer's face shifts. Perplexed at first, then slowly changing shape into an angry-butthole-scrunched face exclaiming, "you son-of-a-BITCH!'

With one swift movement his potato-sack-like arm flips over the coffee table along with the aforementioned coffee mug. The ensuing frenzy destroyed both the fat man's apartment and his macho facade. How could he admit to his buds that he's been playing a role-playing-game? That stuff's for pale losers who watch anime all day about blue-spiky-haired 15 year olds' inability to confess their love to red-spiky-haired 9-year-old-transvestites-with-double-D's.

Not to worry my rotund friend. Yes, we have been playing an RPG, but it's not the type of RPG that removes your testicles. It's the fucking Call of Duty 4 multiplayer RPG. Well, technically it's not an RPG, and no one's calling it an RPG, but if you look at its core: a persistent character that you level up, unlock new weapons, perks, and challenges, the lines start to blur.

Read the full review here.